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The White Dog
by Becky Tailweaver
Chapter 27: Broken Bonds, Missing Pieces
Later that evening, after the sun slipped beneath the rugged horizon, Inuyasha had carried his project in from the woods and was heading for Kaede's hut at a relaxed walk. Spotting Shippo pacing nervously on Kaede's porch, he tucked his deerskin under his arm and hailed the little fox-demon. "Shippo, what's up in there? Is Shirokiba done having his little heart-to-heart?"
The demon-child's eyes were fixed worriedly. "Well, we don't know."
"Don't know?" Inuyasha asked incredulously.
"Kaede's inside with the others. Um...it seems that Kouga's run off somehow. And there's...no sign of Shirokiba, either."
"What?" A sudden thrill of panic running through him, Inuyasha shoved past Shippo to burst into Kaede's home. "What's going on here?" he demanded, interrupting the three humans by the fire.
"Kouga's taken his things and disappeared," Sango replied tersely. "I don't see how he could have gone off alone. I'm sure he wasn't even ready to walk yet! And whoever attacked him is still out there."
Gritting his teeth angrily, Inuyasha let out a low growl, tossing his deer pelt in the corner. "And Shirokiba?"
"No one's seen him since earlier, when he went in to talk to Kouga," Miroku replied. "Do you think he carried Kouga away?"
Inuyasha crouched by the fire, thinking quickly. "No, I don't think he would. The safest place for the wimpy-wolf to recover is here, and Shirokiba knows it. Kouga probably took off and Shirokiba went after him." The dog-demon snorted in irritation. "Stupid Wolf...trotting right back out there so those Dogs can finish eating what's left of him..."
"Don't you think you should go after him, Inuyasha?" Kaede asked softly.
"Why the hell would I do that? He's Shirokiba's problem, not mine."
"You owe your mentor at least that much," the old priestess replied evenly. "And what if Shirokiba himself runs into those Dogs?"
Inuyasha's head jerked up. The thought of Shirokiba--the one who had been his father, brother, playmate, and teacher for half of his childhood--left broken and bleeding like Kouga made the hairs on his neck bristle in agitation. "No...he'll be fine...he's half dog-demon, he can handle..." He trailed off, rising from the fireside. "I...I'll be back later..."
Leaving three very puzzled humans behind, the young dog-demon strode back out the door, past a perplexed Shippo. None of them had been able to read the expression on his face.
* * * * *
It's too damn dark in these woods, Inuyasha thought as he trotted slowly through the thick foliage, following Kouga's scent. Even though the moon's nearly full, hardly any light makes it to the forest floor.
It was very odd, he reflected, that Shirokiba's scent did not follow Kouga's. In fact, the wolf-dog's trail had taken off in a very different direction. Either Shirokiba had very suddenly lost his nose, or for some reason...he had chosen not to follow his younger brother.
But that just doesn't seem like him. I mean, he's usually so concerned when his friends are hurt...and Kouga's scent is so suffused with blood... Grudgingly, he admitted that there was enough blood on Kouga's trail that even he was a bit worried. But only for Shirokiba's sake, he reminded himself. His friend and mentor would be very grieved if the Wolf bled to death.
The bloody trail led in a mostly straight line, heading back toward Kouga's territory--the territory of the Wolf Tribe. Inuyasha was reluctant to pass into their lands alone, given how he was already on bad terms with their leader and they'd be none-too-happy to see him. He debated with himself whether or not to follow Kouga that far.
The point abruptly became moot when he picked up Shirokiba's scent. Faintly at first, and then stronger, the smell of his mentor appeared to be growing nearer. Then, surprisingly, Shirokiba's trail intersected Kouga's and began to follow it. Inuyasha paused in surprise, his trot loosening in relief at the wolf-dog's scent.
Ah, so he circled around. I knew he wouldn't abandon his wimpy-wolf little brother...
As he paced on, something loomed out of the darkness before him. He was so intent on the scent trail that he almost didn't see it, but the demon aura suddenly chilled him and he glanced up. Startled, he jumped back from the large shape. He stood stock-still for a moment, on-guard and fangs bared, his only movements the quick perking of ears and the rapid twitchings of nostrils questing for scent.
It was a big creature, easily half the size of Sesshomaru's true form. Shaggy and dark, only a few hints of mottled gray showed where bits of moonlight struck the demon's back. The shadows of two triangular ears were perched above two glittering blue-gold eyes.
As quickly as he'd shied away, he relaxed once more, his night-seeing eyes recognizing the big, shaggy shadow standing in the deeper darkness of the trees. "Don't do that!" he growled. "You scared the hell out of me!"
Blue-gold eyes shone dimly in the shadowy night. A deep rumble filled the air, a short, interrogative noise.
Inuyasha frowned. "Me? I'm busting my butt out here looking for you and Kouga. Where is he anyway? Aren't you going after him?"
The growl that came next was shorter, lower, followed by a soft bark.
"Why the hell not? He's hurt bad and those Dogs are still out here somewhere. You don't want him to die, do you?" Inuyasha demanded.
The giant shape remained silent, heavy breaths the only sound coming from it.
The young dog-demon snorted. "Hell, I don't even like him and I'm out here in the cold and dark looking for him. What's the matter with you? I thought you cared about that stupid Wolf, so why aren't you--?"
The sudden sharp snarl made the dog-demon step back in surprise.
"But...?"
The shadowy form continued to rumble dangerously in a longer, varying tone, punctuated now and then with barks. The blue-gold eyes glowed hotly, and long, gleaming fangs could be seen in the darkness. The final short series of snarls were so harsh that Inuyasha took a step back, his ears suddenly flattened and his expression stunned and hurt. His jaw hung slack, and the silence between the two demons was palpable.
Finally, striding on four powerful limbs, the massive dark shape turned away with one last low rumble, almost a sigh. Seeing the other leaving, Inuyasha took a single step forward, one hand reaching out hesitantly. "Shirokiba...!"
The demon paused, glancing over his furry shoulder. The catlike eyes glittered, betraying no emotion.
Inuyasha lowered his head, stung by the hard gaze. "I...I'm sorry..."
When the great shadow vanished noiselessly into the woods, Inuyasha sat down right where he was, hurt and shocked at this sudden awful twist. Something happened, he thought dazedly. I've never...ever heard him say anything like that before. Something happened...with him and Kouga, to make him this upset...this hateful. What did that stupid Wolf do? Why is Shirokiba like this? Why did he say...those horrible things...?
He crouched there, drawn into himself, for a long, long time before he was able to push to his feet and lope back toward the village. Something deep inside him was broken, painful, and ached with every jagged breath he took.
* * * * *
Sitting on her bed in her pajamas, Kagome brushed her hair out, preparing for bed. She was quiet, her mind turned inward, contemplating the events of the day. She had seen that dark-haired boy again--the one named Nikumarekko--when school had let out. He had smiled at her...well, more like grinned at her, and waved cheerily, calling out a "Halloo, cutie!" She had blushed, ducked behind her friends, and hurried on while they giggled and nudged her and called her a coward.
Thinking back on it, Kagome thought with a small smile, she probably was a coward. She could have at least waved back--it was only polite.
The abrupt clatter outside her window startled her badly. Her heart leaping, she jumped to her feet in dismay, seeing only the lambent glow of catlike golden eyes right outside the glass. Limbs trembling, she stared wide-eyed for a moment before a familiar warm-tingly aura made her gasp in recognition. "Inuyasha!" she whispered, stepping quickly to the window and sliding it open.
The white dog-demon all but fell into her room as soon as the opening was wide enough. He stood shakily in the middle of the floor, body taut, his breaths hard and rough. "Can I stay here?" he rasped out, biting his lip as he stood, head low, before her.
Kagome gasped when she looked at his face--it was bleak, pained, and his eyes were so full of grief, desperation, and a strange...fear. She stared at him, startled into silence for a moment. She had to swallow hard to find her voice at last. "Inuyasha, what's the matter?" she whispered.
"Shirokiba..." he choked, suddenly losing whatever composure had allowed him to stand before her this long. He slumped into her desk chair, eyes dulled and ears lowered morosely as he turned away from her. "I saw him. He said...it's all my fault. He and Kouga...fighting..."
Kagome blinked, almost unable to believe what she was hearing. "Did...did you and Shirokiba have a fight?"
"No, but..." Inuyasha was trembling, hardly able to continue. "He said...if he hadn't saved me when I was little...if he'd just left me to die...then he'd still have his brother... He said that Kouga disowned him because of me..."
Kagome drew a breath. How could Shirokiba have said something like that to Inuyasha? From the friendly wolf-dog, it seemed utterly impossible. For a demon, he was so kindly and gentle. Something truly awful must have happened to make him lash out at Inuyasha that way. Whatever had happened between Kouga and Shirokiba must have hurt the wolf-dog a great deal--so great, that he would turn around and hurt Inuyasha as well.
"He said...he said..." Inuyasha choked on his own words, unable to express the pain he felt at his friend, mentor, would-be brother's words.
Struck by sudden impulse, Kagome stepped up behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He tensed sharply, ears flipping backwards to focus on her in alarm, his eyes wide and surprised in the corner of her vision. "Kagome...?" he whispered hoarsely.
"It's okay--you can stay here," she told him softly. "I'm sorry this happened...you must feel awful."
The young dog-demon drew a deep, quavering breath, relaxing visibly. One hand reached up to grip her wrist, squeezing briefly in mute gratitude. They remained still like that for several moments, Kagome listening to him breathe, feeling the residual trembling in his muscles; Inuyasha listening to her heartbeat and feeling the warm comfort of her aura and scent. Gradually, he began to calm, feeling that perhaps this wasn't the end of the world--someone still cared...
"I'm sure Shirokiba didn't mean it," Kagome said softly, squeezing his shoulders a little.
Inuyasha swallowed hard. "He doesn't lie. He never lies..."
"But...if he and Kouga had a fight I'm sure he was probably upset. I'll bet he'll be alright soon...and he doesn't hate you."
"How can I know that?" The dog-demon closed his eyes. While many of his kind seemed cold and empty, in truth demon emotions ran strong and deep, straightforward and powerful. The tides of feeling could overwhelm and sweep aside all reason...which was exactly why so many kept their emotions so perfectly in check. It was so easy to lose control...and Shirokiba showed much more emotion than most demons, and felt things so much more deeply because he cared so much...
"Because Shirokiba really cares about you," Kagome replied, unconsciously mimicking his thoughts. "I don't know him as well as you do, but from what I've seen he loves you like a brother."
"Brother?" Inuyasha snorted derisively. "He had a brother long before he found me. And now because of me he's lost that. Kouga means so much to him..."
Kagome didn't want to ask what the fight had been over; she didn't think that Inuyasha could spare the effort to tell her--he was far too broken up inside. "That's why he'll need you more," she said, "since he and Kouga are fighting. He's hurting just as much--you need each other."
Inuyasha shook his head. "He's a real demon, not like me. He doesn't need anything."
"It'll be okay," she said softly in innocent hope, praying that her earnest promise would not be broken. "You'll see."
Inuyasha remained silent, still aching inside from Shirokiba's scalding words--but Kagome's gentle presence was balm to those wounds, soothing the pain he felt at being torn from someone so important. She was all he had left, now--he had done himself in with Kikyo, with Shirokiba, with everyone else in his life...now Kagome was the only one who still cared. She loved him--she'd said so herself...she was there, and she was still holding on to him...so he held on to his hope.
Later, when the lights were out and she went to sleep, she held true to her word and allowed him to stay. He slept on the floor as he had earlier, curled up under the very same blanket--the one so saturated in her scent. Her presence, so near, was enough to hold at bay the terrible nightmares that would normally plague him, so he spent the night in fitful dreams that shifted from hurt and fear and Shirokiba's sharp angry gaze, to warmth and comfort and Kagome's gentle blue eyes.
* * * * *
The days between Kouga and Shirokiba's departure and the upcoming Full Moon Howl-Gathering were, Inuyasha would later reflect, some of the most miserable in his entire life. While they certainly didn't take first place in that category, they ranked up there quite high and would remain in his memory as a period of time in which everything was irrevocably dismal.
During the day, he lurked about the village, frequenting Kaede's roof and snarling at Ginnezu whenever he happened to see her--which, thankfully, was becoming more rare as his mood worsened. He couldn't bring himself to go looking for his mentor, or even venture out into the trees. He made do with well-water and Kaede's perfunctorily offered meals, instead of fresh creek water and his own kills.
At night, he went to Kagome's world. Trying to sleep in his own time now had become impossible, and while he no longer went into her house, he would sleep on the roof above her room or the tree outside her window. He knew she sensed his presence, but she also seemed to sense his need for solitude and let him be. She would smile and offer him a kindly "Good night" or "Good morning" when she happened to see him, but held off further contact unless he initiated it. He was grateful for her quiet understanding, glad that he had at least one friend left.
His only bright spot besides Kagome was the fact that he had indeed convinced the village tanner to take on the pelt he had procured. With a freshly killed wild boar as payment--the tanner had specifically, though hesitantly, asked for it--he had ordered the deerskin be tanned and given the finest work the man had ever done. His glowering seemed to have worked, for the middle-aged, balding human had hurried to work as soon as Inuyasha returned with the promised boar.
All the while, the moon continued to grow fat and round in the sky. Ginnezu, when he did see her, seemed to smile and simper all the more, annoying him. However, one night when the moon had just begun to rise, as he was walking to the well, she did inform him that the Dogs' gathering was the very next night. He growled at her for presuming to speak to him, but mentally catalogued the information. He was more reluctant to go than ever before...but he felt that, somehow, this was something that he had to do. He had to face the dog-demons--his father's people.
Now all he needed was a Shikon shard...and he knew where one friendly, trusting human girl kept an entire bottle full of them.
* * * * *
Kagome was restless.
She didn't know why, but she knew that something was wrong. Inuyasha had not been himself when he'd come this evening; he had arrived quite early, and he was strangely distant and his ears were twitching as if he were nervous. For once, he'd actually come in her window, perching on her desk chair and talking to her. Uncharacteristically, he'd asked her about school--how things were going, if she was going to be finished with her studies soon--and her friends, frowning when she mentioned the dark-haired boy who'd been hanging around her so often.
Little alarm bells had gone off in her head at his unusual interest--had he been making small-talk?--but she ignored them; the young dog-demon was already upset enough over having Shirokiba angry with him, and he didn't need her pushing him. So she didn't say anything, didn't ask any untoward questions.
Now, she reflected, watching the setting sun, she wished she had. Something had been wrong, darn it, and she hadn't thought to ask what.
She sat back on her bed with a sigh, throwing her arms out on the blankets. It was too early to sleep--whatever was Inuyasha doing, intending to turn in at this hour? And asking her about school, about her family, about how many Shikon shards they had...ye gods, what was wrong with him tonight? He was never usually so...chatty. And when she'd gone downstairs to answer her mother's call, and poked her head back in the door to warn him to be quiet--ah, that guilty look on his face! What on earth had he been up to?
That restlessness just wouldn't leave; she felt on-edge, hollow, as if something were missing. Something familiar, just on the edge of her perceptions, something she knew she should know but just couldn't grasp...
Her eyes fixed on the glittering bottle of Shikon shards that sat out on her desk. Prone as she was, it appeared sideways in her vision. She stared at it for several moments, just thinking...wondering what it was that was missing from her heart. Something warm inside her was gone...
Frowning, she sat up suddenly. She could no longer bear this stillness! Almost stomping, she went to her window and drew it open, poking her head out and craning her neck upwards. "Inuyasha!" she called softly toward the roof, knowing his sharp ears would hear her even were she to but breathe his name. "Come down here please! I need to talk to you."
No answer.
Kagome frowned, pursing her lips and raising her voice just a bit. "Come on, I just need to ask you something. Are you asleep already? Inuyasha!"
Okay, this was going beyond the bounds of even sleeping. Even had he been asleep, he would have responded--unless he was simply being rude and sulky, which might have been a good sign that he was getting back to his old self. "Inuyasha, last warning!" she called.
Nothing. For a long time, nothing. That did it.
"Sit!"
Kagome waited for the expected thump and "Argh, you wench!" that usually followed. She was oddly surprised that, again, nothing happened.
He wasn't there.
With a cold tightness in her stomach, she realized that it was his aura, his presence that she had been missing. That warm-tingly feeling whenever he was near, a sensation that was, by now, so comforting to her--it was gone, and there was nothing left but fear's cold grip on her heart.
He's gone! But...wouldn't he have told me he was going back...? She hadn't seen him after she'd gone down to answer her mother's call; she'd assumed he'd gone up to his usual rooftop perch since she didn't see him in the tree outside her room. Something was indeed wrong--he'd taken off back to the Well without even telling her! What on earth...?
As she stood near her desk at the window, her hand brushed against something cold that scraped a little on the desktop as she bumped it. She looked down and spotted the little bottle of Shikon shards, left vulnerable near the open window. She picked it up and was just about to slide it into her desk drawer when she paused, staring at the bottle, a slow, horrified suspicion growing in her mind.
She jerked the bottle open and sat at her desk, carefully spilling the shards out into a little pile and counting them, one by one. She frowned, and counted again. Counted a third time just to be sure.
There was no mistaking it. One Shikon shard was missing--one of the little ones, unnoticeable unless you actually sat down and counted how many there really were. She sat back in her desk chair, eyes wide with shock and disbelief.
Inuyasha was gone...and he had taken a shard of the Shikon Jewel with him.
To be continued...