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Chapter 13: Cold Silence

Shippo had made an attempt to save the slightly burned breakfast by the time Kagome had pulled herself together and could emerge from the sleeping bag and get dressed. The resourceful kitsune had managed to lever the spit of roasted pheasant off the fire, bracing it against one of the seat stones so that the meat would not touch the ground. He was proud of his handiwork, but sat still and quiet until Kagome addressed him directly.

"Shippo...you heard the whole thing?"

"Mm." The young fox-demon opted for a neutral reply, not wanting to upset the schoolgirl further.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," Kagome said quietly, then looked over the spit of pheasant. "Oh...he was making breakfast, wasn't he?"

"Uh-huh. I think he went out just after dawn. I wasn't very awake." Shippo shrugged and sniffed the slightly singed meat. "Pheasant, by the smell. It looks like he was all set to give you breakfast in bed, Kagome."

Kagome didn't say anything. She regretted her flash of hatred for Inuyasha, for it had been only that--a brief momentary burst. She felt like a fool; here he had tried to cook her a wonderful hot breakfast of something other than his favorite instant noodles, and she had gone and messed it up by...

What did I do? she wondered as she served Shippo some of the meat and took a small piece for herself. I didn't do anything! He was the one who got all hot about that book. I didn't mean anything bad by it. He's the one who got mad. He's the one who started yelling and calling me names. It's not my fault he's such a royal jerk! It's his bad temper that started this argument! He's the demon, not me! He's the one who's violent, rude, untrustworthy, cruel, selfish... Her mental voice petered out as her ire grew. He's such a jerk! He's never nice to me! No matter what I do or how I try to understand him, he hates me! He'll always hate me!

Deep in her funk, Kagome sat and glared at the fire as she consumed her breakfast. All the while, her anger was directed at Inuyasha--mostly to hide and ignore the anger her heart directed at herself, for making assumptions and being cruel. She did not aknowlege any of her own actions in fanning the flames of dislike between herself and the dog-demon. In her angry mind, it was all his fault, and she could easily blame it on him.

The truth was, she wasn't right...but she wasn't all wrong, either.

Kagome was packed and on the trail as soon as she could get her stuff into her backpack. The leftover pheasant she'd packed into a crumpled wrap of waxed paper left over from some rice balls and packed into a side pouch on her bag. With Shippo trotting obediently at heel, the schoolgirl set out down the ridge and back into the valley, where a continued northward journey would not be as difficult to make. Flat land was easier to travel than ridges and mountains.

Kagome unwillingly felt the warm tingle of Inuyasha's presence as soon as she struck out on the trail, so she knew he was nearby. However, she did not see Inuyasha once that morning, not even a flicker of white hair or red kimono. Shippo had the distinct impression that he was being stalked; having Inuyasha following them in secret was making his little demon hunt-instincts go haywire. These instincts absolutely refused to be reasoned with, leaving him jumpy and jittery all morning. Even if Shippo knew it was their old familiar dog-demon, the sense of having a large, dangerous predator trailing them invisibly was unnerving, to say the least.

Kagome didn't understand why her perception of the dog-demon's presence had changed. Only a few weeks ago, she would shiver and get chills when he approached--just like any other demon, Shippo included. But his signature aura had undergone a gradual change in her senses that she was only recently beginning to notice. Now his presence seemed...brighter, somehow; it was a warmer, ticklier tingle, almost like the shivery feeling she got when she was anticipating something good to happen. Was it him that had changed, or her perception of him? She didn't know. Despite their fight and the fact that she was still very angry at him, she felt safe knowing that he was not far away; probably within the distance necessary for him to hear her and Shippo's whispered conversation, which meant within a hundred yards.

She knew he was there, and he knew she knew he was there--so why wasn't he coming out?

Kagome briefly had a flash of satisfaction; perhaps things were as they should be--her demon protector was once again under her sway and afraid to approach her presence. Right after that, she was mentally berating herself for being stupid. Inuyasha in no way feared her; it was the sit he hated.

The Sit. Her only weapon and shield against his deadly claws. Without it, she was dead meat. Despite her usefulness as a Shikon shard detector, if Inuyasha suddenly decided--truly decided, not just an empty threat--that she was of no use to him, only the sit could save her from quick execution.

And yet she hated to do it to him. At first it had been fun--back when, to her, he was a big, terrifying monster-dog and it was neat to watch him flop to the ground whenever she said the word. Then, after a while, it had become merely a method of keeping him "on a leash," so to speak, and force him to obey her commands whether he wanted to or not. However, as she had gotten to know him better, she had begun to see the person behind the warning snarls and impervious Fire Rat kimono. He wore his gruffness like armor to keep anyone from getting close enough to reach him, and it seemed he had just reason for it. But despite his guard, she had come very close many times, especially recently, and discovered the boy beneath the surly dog-demon.

Underneath the snarling, dangerous dog-demon, she had uncovered a hurt, scared, lonely boy. Just from what little she could piece together, from her experiences with him and bits of information from Shirokiba, Inuyasha had had a very hard childhood. His mother had died--somehow--when he was only five. Then his half-brother Sesshomaru had tortured him--to a detail she didn't know--and he'd been forced to grow up in exile, alone, with a young wolf-dog demon as his only guardian. Striking out on his own at nine, he'd probably had to face terrible battles with all manner of hideous demons to make the kind of name for himself that Shirokiba had described to her: Lesser demons feared him; greater demons watched him with concern. Humans were terrified of him, of the stories of his exploits despite his youth and inexperience. He could find no home with any of them.

Like he'd said, he was utterly alone.

Until he met Kikyo--and when she'd died and left him alone again, Kagome had found him. Gradually, despite his snarling, surly exterior, she'd come to like him, maybe even...something more. And he absolutely refused to see how much she cared about him--which infuriated her to no end. Completely without her knowlege, her heart had tied itself to him, without checking with her brain first. She'd only just begun to realize how much he meant to her, but he was still gruff and mean. It made for a frustrating relationship. She wanted so badly to be kind to him, but when she did he flung it back at her. She wanted so badly for him to at least speak nicely to her, but all he ever did was growl. A compliment was too much to hope for, so she'd thought at least some civility would work--but it never did. He trod on her heart with each surly snarl, and broke it time and again when he chased after Kikyo. Even if she did care about him that much, he had no use for her other than a shard detector. Sure, he'd struck Kikyo to save her, but he had been protecting his interests where the Shikon shards were concerned, and Kikyo's new demon-body was nearly indestructible. She wouldn't be permanently damaged. When Kagome outlived her usefulness, he could go back to Kikyo, apologize, and live happily ever after.

But those few times when he had been nice, he'd been quiet and vulnerable and gruffly sweet. Those were the times she remembered most strongly how much she cared for him--those times when his human nature got the better of his demon one for a few minutes and let her inside his armor.

Invariably, however, something would go wrong. Someone would interrupt or some emergency would happen, and he would be hurt or startled and close up again. It was so hard to coax him out of his shell--and her own sporadic name-calling and selfish use of sits did not help his fragile self-image one little bit. And she knew it. I won't do it any more, she thought, feeling strongly about her decision. I promise I won't sit him without just cause. I swear on my family's name and honor that I will not sit Inuyasha without good and ample reason. Once her promise had been made, she felt uplifted--yet fearful at the same time.

Maybe she shouldn't stay mad at him. Maybe...he was right...at least partly. It was totally wrong of her to assume he would behave like the other demon creatures they'd met. He was half human, after all; he had a human mind and a human heart--at least she thought he did. He's like...like a withdrawn teenage boy with a good heart trapped in the body of a dangerous creature, she thought. He's lonely and sad and he's been hurt so much; he's trying to protect himself. He looks fierce on the outside...but inside he's a person with feelings, just like me.

Then why was he so sensitive about that stupid book? she thought quickly, her anger returning. I wasn't even really taking it seriously! I was just curious, and he never tells me anything about himself. How else am I supposed to find out? So much of the time he's such a jerk!

Fuming, she didn't notice the white-haired shape that dropped out of the trees in front of her until she'd almost run into his red-clothed chest. Stopping in her tracks, she looked up into his face.

Inuyasha's expression was neutral and closed, and he gazed at her without emotion. "You're going the wrong way," he said evenly. "Turn more to the east as you follow this valley. When you come to a river, follow it upstream."

Her surprise gone a second after she'd recognized him, her own face fell closed as well. She barely aknowleged his information with a hint of a nod and brushed past him. Shippo tried greeting the dog-demon with a smile, but Inuyasha didn't even notice him; instead, he fell into step behind the kitsune, using the smaller demon as a sort of buffer between himself and Kagome. They still weren't talking.

Shippo shook his head with a sigh. This little lover's spat was likely to take a while.

Ginnezu was humming a tune as she sunned herself on Kaede's roof.

Shirokiba, sitting in a tree near the hut, did not like it. The silver dog-demon was entirely too happy for his liking--and she was only this happy when she'd pulled something. He had yet to figure out what it was, but he had a bad feeling about it. It had to do with Inuyasha, and he was sure she'd done some kind of stunt to make Kagome's life miserable. She hadn't harmed or killed the girl; if she had, Inuyasha would be tearing around like a mad dog, shredding everything in sight in search of whatever had hurt his human girl.

But that wasn't the only thing she could do. It was his inability to figure out what trick she'd pulled that frustrated him the most. He simply could not, for the life of him, think up a single thing that Ginnezu had done--if she'd even found Inuyasha in the first place, which he thought she probably had and lied to him.

He briefly contemplated going up north again and finding the little "shard-hunting" troop to see for himself what she might have done and if they were all right. However, that would leave this village unprotected--and despite Miroku and Sango's obvious willingness to go head-to-head with Ginnezu, facing her was likeley to get them pasted, whatever powers they might have. And he really didn't want to leave Ginnezu unsupervised, especially when she might slink off and pull another fast one on them.

And so, an impasse, he thought crossly. Blue-gold eyes hard, he glared at the dozing, humming Silver woman on the roof across from him. With a small start, he realized he recognized the tune she was humming: It was an old dog-demon song about a jealous woman who broke up a loving couple so she could steal the man for herself, breaking many laws and framing the demon's mate in the process. The dog-demon's mate dies, and he ends up killing the jealous woman and living his life insane and alone.

It was something of a "bar tune" among dog-demons, something funny and sad at the same time, often sung at dog-demon "bachelor parties" as a reminder to watch out, because Hell hath no fury like a she-dog scorned. However, the truthful irony struck Shirokiba, who felt a catch in his breath when he realized how dedicated Ginnezu was to posessing Inuyasha. He knew what she was after...he just didn't know how she was going to try to do it.

Damn you, Ginnezu, he thought, his face darkened with a scowl. Just what are you up to?

Kagome dutifully turned uptream when she reached the small river that flowed along the valley they'd been traveling. Here, where the valley narrowed, the river was still smooth and flat, but would probably become rough down the line when they began to ascend the hills at the end of the valley. She wiped sweat from her brow and shaded her eyes, looking up at the sky.

What a scorcher of a day! she thought with a weary sigh. She didn't realize how much she appreciated Inuyasha carrying her pack for her until she had to lug it all the way herself. This river looks nice and cool. I think it's time for a late lunch break and a dip. "We're going to stop for a while," she announced to nobody in particular.

Shippo plopped to the grass on the bank, panting gratefully and glad to be able to lay in the shade. Inuyasha merely wandered over to the water, took a drink, and crouched beside one of the shade trees, his expression unreadable and surly.

Kagome unloaded her pack and pulled out the remains of the pheasant breakfast, which she shared with Shippo. The kistune took a piece, then looked at the last full section of the bird. His gaze went from the chunk to the dog-demon and back to the chunk; once his ruminations were complete, he picked up the quarter of pheasant, trotted over to Inuyasha, and dropped it in front of him like a cat presenting its master with a mouse. Without a word, the little fox-demon headed back to Kagome and sat down as if nothing had happened. Kagome didn't look at Inuyasha, nor comment on Shippo's generosity, so no one said anything.

After the pheasant and two cans of iced tea were consumed, Kagome decided she'd napped long enough to digest and could now go swimming in the river. It wasn't a river, really--more like an oversized creek--but it was deep enough to dip in and cool enough to refresh.

Maybe now would be a good time to try and communicate with the silent dog-demon by the tree. "Inuyasha? Do you want to go swimming?" she asked, keeping her voice carefully neutral.

Inuyasha looked at her, for a moment surprised, but then shook his head. "No."

"It's pretty warm. Are you sure you don't want to? I brought--"

"No. Leave me alone." Without another word, the dog-demon rose and climbed the tree above him, avoiding a confrontation.

Kagome scowled, angry all over again. Well, fine! If that's the way he's going to be, I'll just go by myself! It didn't seem to occur to her that Inuyasha never went swimming, whether she was bathing or cooling herself or doing anything in the water.

"Come on, Shippo," she said, turning away from Inuyasha's direction. "Do you want to swim? I brought you something new from my world."

The kitsune's face lit up eagerly. "Sure! Whadja bring me?"

Kagome rooted through her pack and pulled out a little bundle, which contained a miniature beach towel and a tiny pair of blue swim trunks. "My mom helped me make you a bathing suit," she explained with a smile. "I made these a while back and I was looking for a good time to give them to you. Now we can all swim together."

Shippo's little grin about cracked his face open. "Gee, thanks, Kagome! This is so cool! Is it just like kids in your time have?"

"Yes. It's a scale model," she said proudly, borrowing Sota's description of the little shorts she'd sewn--with her mother's help. The "miniature beach towel" was actually a gaudy, neon-colored terrycloth hand-towel she'd picked up at an eccentrics' store. But it had a cute pattern of fish and flamingos on it, and it looked enough like a beach towel to pass the kitsune's inspection.

"This is neat!" Quite eager, the kitsune was getting into his new swimwear as fast as he could.

Giggling, Kagome took her own bathing suit and towel and headed for a stand of bushes a few yards away. All she heard was a snort of derision from the general direction of Inuyasha's tree. Spoilsport! Killjoy! she thought at him. If you don't like it, at least let the rest of us enjoy it!

Once changed, she wrapped her towel around her waist and tiptoed to the water's edge. Leaving her towel hung on a branch, she stepped in, sighing at the wonderful coolness of the water. It felt so good after the sweltering heat of the afternoon. Slipping in deeper, she waded out to waist deep and dunked herself, staying under long enough for the delicious cold of the water to soak into her skin. Bobbing up, she kicked up her feet and floated gently in the cool, slowly moving water of the quiet river, enjoying the brief reprieve from the summer heat.

Shippo dog-paddled around her rapidly, his tiny fangs set in a grin of pleasure and his once-puffy tail trailing behind him in the water like a damp wig. He was proudly "going swimming" just like the kids in Kagome's era.

With light fans of her arms and movements of her feet, she drifted on her back, enjoying the water. The current barely moved here; it was relatively easy to avoid floating away from shore. When she drifted into the dappled shade of one of the trees that overhung the creek, she ended up looking up at the shadowed form that watched over them.

Inuyasha sat in the tree above with his usual disdainful, impatient expression, ignoring his two companions in the stream. He sat lower in the tree than he normally did, only about four feet above the smooth water on the overhanging limb, and instead of resting with his back against the trunk he was sprawled on his stomach, supporting his weight on one elbow while the rest of his limbs dangled.

She hadn't really looked at him all afternoon. His face was set stubbornly, and Kagome would not have noticed a difference if she hadn't been looking closely. As he sat sulking, his expression was tempered with a touch of forlorn misery. His ghostly pale hair was damp and bedraggled and hung unusually limp around his face. His white-furred ears, usually perked alertly and listening for danger, drooped to the side and didn't appear active at all. His jaws were parted, revealing glistening fangs, but the pink tongue that lolled out of his mouth canceled any fearsome appearance he might've had. His golden eyes were gazing in her general direction, but weren't really seeing her.

"Inuyasha," Kagome called to him.

"Eh?" One ear twitched in her direction, and his eyes focused on her. "You ready to quit fooling around?"

"No," the schoolgirl replied. "Why don't you come swim with us? You look like you could use it."

"I don't have time for stupid water games."

"But you look so hot in that kimono--"

"I am not hot!" he snapped irritably, then returned to his absent staring off into space.

"Are you sure? You look awfully baked."

"And just what gave you that idea?"

Kagome's face turned down with anger again. She stood up out of the water, putting herself about six inches below his eye level. "Well, the fact that you're sweating like a pig in that fire mouse coat was the first clue," she said testily. "And that tongue hanging out of your mouth. I thought you said you weren't a dog."

Inuyasha realized he was panting and sucked in his tongue, not looking at her. "It's Fire Rat, wench. Rat." Damn, why does my father's blood pick the most embarassing moments to surface?

Kagome giggled almost cruelly at his embarassment. "Face it, Inuyasha, you are one hot puppy."

He growled at her but couldn't summon the will to do anything else. It wasn't like he could bop her like he did Shippo. The argument they'd had still lingered heavily between them.

Shippo ceased paddling and appeared thoughtful. "Hot...dog? Kagome, isn't that the meat sausage thing you brought us to taste? The one Inuyasha choked on when you told him what it was?" The little fox-boy grinned impishly at the dog demon above him and began to taunt. "Hot dog, hot dog! He's 'barbecuing!' Inuyasha's a hot dog! Ha ha ha!"

Inuyasha snarled at the kitsune but couldn't bop him unless he actually got in the water. "Knock it off, fox."

"Why don't you come on in?" Kagome asked, waving Shippo to silence.

"I don't want to," the halfling sniffed, affecting an air of bored impatience once again.

"Inuyasha, are you..." Kagome didn't bother to hide her smug smile. "...afraid of water?"

That brought his head around again. "What? I'm not a cat! I am not afraid!"

"Then what's your problem?"

"I'm sick of you wasting time, that's my problem!"

Kagome put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "I am not wasting time. You know, I could easily say the word and have you into this creek and be done with it, but I'm trying to be considerate and not ruin your dry clothes."

Inuyasha gaped at her as if just realizing that patent fact.

"Furthermore," she continued, "this swimming stop was meant to help everyone get comfortable. You're not leaving until I'm ready, and I'm not ready until you're comfortable. So the sooner you want to leave, the sooner you better get cooled off." She looked pleased that she had him in a corner. She was almost enjoying it.

Inuyasha pinned his ears back, bared his fangs, and glared his most fearsome stare, but she only gazed back at him primly, unmoved. "Well?" she asked. "What? Do I have to toss in a stick and tell you to fetch?"

"Go climb a tree," he growled, stung.

She smiled, sitting back down in the cool water. "I could use a longer soak. Oh, well..."

"Witch."

"Dog breath," she retorted quickly, not to be outdone.

"Weakling."

"Drooler!" Kagome's face lit with anger.

"Slut!" Inuyasha sat back up and snarled.

"Bite me!"

"Don't tempt me!"

"Go suck eggs!"

"Sounds good!"

"Only you'd think so!"

"Get out of my face!"

"Go bark up a tree!"

"Ugly wench!"

"Cat-chaser! Poodle!" Kagome was standing now, and almost yelling in his face.

"Hey--!"

"Go fetch! Shred some slippers! Chase your tail!"

"I don't have a--!"

"Go sniff a fire hydrant!" Kagome's voice was shrill with anger, and her face was positively vicious. "You want to keep insulting me? I'll show you how much dog I can throw at you! Find yourself a frisbee, you toilet-drinker! Mangy mutt! Dumb, arrogant, overbearing half-breed! You insensitve, stupid, self-centered, totally inconsiderate mongrel!"

Inuyasha was actually cringing away from her a bit, clinging to his branch. The "mongrel" comment bit deeply, striking him in a weak spot both of them knew he had. "Ka...Kagome, th-that's not fair!"

"What's not fair?" the girl demanded, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. "I'm sick and tired of this! I'm sick of you! Every time I try to be nice to you, you spit in my face! Every time I try to understand you, you call me stupid! Every time I think we might be friends you throw everything back at me! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of it, do you hear me?"

Inuyasha's mouth worked for a minute. He could think of nothing to say that would stop her temper. Hell--he'd never gotten her this serious before, and it was scary. No barbs anyone had flung at him had stung like this before--and hearing them from her hurt far more than from anyone else. Far worse than their altercation that morning about the "dog" thing. He clicked his fangs shut, stared at her a moment, then croaked the one thing he could in response to her tirade. "I-I'm not a mongrel..."

Kagome sniffed, her tearful eyes full of anger. Her voice was cold even though it shook. "Yes you are. You don't want to be called a dog but you act just like a slinking, cold, conniving hound, biting others in the back. You don't care about anything but yourself. You're hateful, ungrateful, and mean. You are a dog, Inuyasha--the worst kind."

Her eyes were too full of tears to see his pained flinch at her words; nor could she hear his catching breath at her cruel accusations. His ears were pinned down--not with anger but with hurt--and he had to work hard to keep his expression nasty. He couldn't do anything but snarl menacingly at her, tensing as if to pounce. Kagome let out a sob, then whirled and ran out of the water, snatching her towel as she went. Inuyasha stared after her, dumbstruck, his grumbling posturing forgotten.

Shippo stood on a rock, jaws agape, having gotten far away from the combatants at the first signs of unrest. "That was...intense," the kitsune commented, finally able to work his tongue. "Wow, Inuyasha, that got a little personal, huh...?" He faded out at the gape-mouthed, painful expression on the other's face. "Uh, I think I'll shut up now."

"She didn't sit me," Inuyasha realized suddenly, mumbling it aloud. "Why didn't she sit me? She was angry enough...but she didn't sit me." Is it because...of this morning...? He sat and stared after her for another few minutes, thinking. "She'll come back," he assured Shippo with a confidence he didn't feel. "You'll see--she'll be back." But we've never had an argument last so long... She's so angry about what I said this morning. I just didn't want her to think of me as a monster! What did I do wrong?

"Uh-huh. Yeah--sure she'll be back." Shippo was unconvinced. "You'll be lucky if she ever talks to you again."

"Shut up!" Inuyasha snarled.

To be continued...